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What is my goal and purpose?

https://youtu.be/b_RjndG0IX8   Youtube.com  Matthew West - Do Something

 

Today I was quiet, sleepy and being introspective. I decided I would listen to Christian praise and worship and try to sleep. I was lying down, closed my eyes, and had my iPhone on to Matthew West's Radio listening on Pandora. I love his songs and I was just enjoying his praise music.

The next song to come on was DO SOMETHING. I have probably heard it a 1000 times, but for some reason, this time I heard the message. It is so easy to wear a mask to show happiness when you do not feel it. It is so easy to say, "well, I did this today and I know I made a difference" but did I really?

I know as a nurse (100 yrs ago), I made a difference in people's lives by caring for them on my shifts. I remember praying for some of them, but how many think back and remember, a young girl, with high hopes, took time to care for them. It really doesn't matter if they remember but I question in my mind if I really did. The next 100 yrs of my life, I taught school. I prayed for my classes; got frustrated with them; disliked immensely (because mom said I could say hate) some administrative orders, state mandates, and the inability to reach the goal for myself....which was to make learning fun; make it a desire in the hearts of my kids; to really help them love school, learning, and furthering their education. Why??? because I hated school. Hated everything about it!!!!! Moving so often; new classes, schools, and friends all the time and being bullied because I could not see to read and had to get glasses which just increased the bullying. It wasn't until I went to College and had a history teacher who made learning FUN!!! INTERESTING!!!! ENJOYABLE!!!!! He made me want to know more about everything in history....the why's and the wherefores.

Now I am retired....and YES, retirement is nice...lying around eating bon bons gets old though. Today I am wondering....what is my purpose? Whose life am I affecting? Am I making a difference? Yes my father is living with me and I am caring for him. Yes he irritates me and makes me cry at times, but he is my father and I love him. I know I will not have him with me much longer. I look at the world and I see all the discrimination: racism; religious controls; evil people taking our freedoms one by one; terrorists- here or there- killing one another and media proclaim all the wows of the world and I think, God why don't you do something to make things right. This song DO SOMETHING pointed a finger at me.

What am I doing???? Am I praying for the leaders of this country for GOD:S guidance and wisdom, even If I disagree with them??? Am I praying for the kids I taught, who are now marrying and having kids of their own? Am I encouraging them? What about the homeless ones? What am I doing? Do I look the other way and say someone else will deal with this? Today I realized, I do have a purpose. It might now be a new vocation where I know how I am helping...but a smile or a giggle (I have a dear friend, who encourages me every day in her posts, when I see her or hear her sing...to have JOY and never let anyone steal it from me. It is a gift from God and I am to share it. Do I share God's love and forgiveness? Do I smile at strangers or say high to them? What does my face reflect when I am driving or walking in the mall???? My purpose and my goal must be to share the love of Jesus with those I know and don't know; to help when and where I am able and to smile and let people know that loving and serving God is not a drudgery- even if and when life throws lemons- It is a life full of meaning, learning, sharing and loving. AND I must start the ball going.


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