http://youtu.be/3GwjfUFyY6M
(Highlight the web page and listen to the song. I cannot figure out how to download the song. Grrrrr)
This past year has been a journey for me. One I would like to forget the bad and remember only the good, however, the bad parts serve to show me how God carried me through my "cancer episode". Last September I was diagnosed with DCIS breast cancer in the right side. I opted to have a double mastectomy with reconstruction. I made this decision because my mom had breast cancer and died after it returned twice in 10 yrs; my sister is a 7 yr survivors; and my 37 yr old niece was diagnosed about 3 wks before I was, also with DCIS.
October 31 last yr, I had the surgery and during the course of the next 9 months I had 5 surgeries (some to repair the reconstructions; some to replace the nipple which was removed and some to clean up the implants). Fun, it was not! There were many times I cried and wanted to tell them to remove the implants. There were times I wanted to just give up. But with the support of family, friends and church cancer support groups, I was able to return to my "babies" at work at the end of March. In July I had one more surgery and frankly, for the first time since the first surgery, I felt "normal". I didn't feel like I was carrying 2 bookbags on my chest. I was actually able to function like a human and I began sleeping through the night while lying down.
Now I am looking forward to my 1 yr. anniversary of being cancer free! YEAH!!!!!!!
Only one problems stands in my way..... I went for my first post op mammogram and ultrasound Oct 2. Within 3 days, my surgeon's office called to tell me I needed more pictures (mammograms) done because of an "abnormality in my left breast".
Now, in general, mammograms are NOT comfortable but when you have implants, it hurts (excuse me) like hell. They have to push the implant out of the way and pull the remaining flesh forward and flatten it. After the first mammogram Oct 2, I had to take pain pills for 2 wks! I hurt like I did after surgery.
One wk after I got the phone call, the office finally was able to "work me in" to take the "spot compression" xrays (smaller paddles are used and they flatten you to within an inch of your life). The radiologist told me, Go home. Don't worry. It is nothing at all. So off I went and began planning my celebration for Oct 31 this year and being completely healed and cancer free.
This past Thursday, we (Florida) were gearing up for Hurricane Sandy. We were given 1/2 day off and the next day as well as Sandy began to breeze in with her fury and pummel us with wind and rain. As I was sitting in my room catching up on grading, my cell rang. I was not going to answer it until I saw it was my surgeon's office. I thought, finally, they are calling me to tell me everything is fine....but what I heard was "She wants you to have another ultrasound. You have the option of having it done at the imaging place or here in the office". Since I have not talked to the surgeon since June, I opted for her office so I can get the full story on what it is they see or think they see. I just want to know what it is I am up against: Scar tissue or more cancer. It is in my left breast which did not have the ducts removed and did not have the cancer to begin with.
So Tuesday, Day before official celebration, I go to the surgeon's office to have yet another test done, making this the 4th one in 1 month.
My friends tell me to be positive...and I am. I am just frustrated that not one dr has taken the time to explain what they are looking at and I think that since I am so recent a cancer survivor, I should be told something. I hate the lack of communication. My friend, Ray, informed me that no matter what is happening in my body, until now I am cancer free and we are celebrating! My principal told me to take the afternoon (and not worry about being docked) and that she loves me and prays daily for me. My roommate is planning to have a "surprise" cake for me after work Wednesday (she had to tell me when Ray told me we were celebrating).
Right now, I want to party and celebrate but I am frustrated and hesitant to take that step to celebration. Mesut is very supportive and with retirement looming, he and I are getting more and more excited at the prospect of being together finally.
So as Oct 31 comes closer, keep me in your thoughts and prayers.... and celebrate til the cows come home on Halloween. Last year I was a zombie (literally) but this year.... I am going to be a party animal!!!!!